Vows - the focal point of the wedding ceremony, in which the Bride and Groom open their hearts and make promises to each other in front of their Guests and Witnesses. Makes your eyes water... How could it not, when they talk about love, faithfulness and marital honesty, and that only death will do them part. You can do it old-fashioned way but you can also do it your way! We try to create vows that fully reflect your characters and feelings.
When you decide to have a humanist wedding, the vows become your personal and deeply meaningful expression of love. You have the possibility to choose the classic, formal vows or make them unconventional and your own in every way. The choice is yours so listen to your heart!
Many of you may be wondering how to choose the right words because expressing your feelings towards your partner in a compact but affectionate way is not that easy! No need to worry about that, because we've made sure that everyone will manage to get through this process safe and sound.
Vows at a humanist wedding - the classical approach
Most similar to the vows people say in the registry office. Depending on your preferences, you can repeat the formula after the celebrant or choose an option that only requires you to say: "Yes" at the end. If public appearances and speaking in front of a crowd make you uncomfortable or cause you stress, the right call might be to keep your vows to a minimum. The celebrant can tell the Guests more about your love and feelings you have for each other in the personal part of the ceremony.
This type of vows is also preferred by Couples who want their humanist wedding to be as close to the civil one as possible. The vows are simple but they highlight everything that's most important in a relationship. Below you will find two examples of such vows:
I ..., accept you,...., to be no one other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know. With respect for your integrity and faith in your abiding love for me. In all that life may bring us I pledge my love.
Or:
..., do you take ... to be your lawful wedded husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to him for the rest of your life together?
...: Yes.
The possibilities a humanist ceremony presents are infinite. Formal vows for this type of ceremony can also be modified by you. After all, what we care about most is that you mean what you say to each other. If you don't like a specific sentence or you want to add a few words from yourself - you tell us, we change it!
Personal vows
This is where the real fun begins because whatever you create in the process of composing these vows will be absolutely unique and yours. Personal vows can be anything you want - a moment of reflection on time spent together, a thank you, a promise, a reference to common interests or favorite anecdotes or even all at once.
But first things first...
Some brave and naturally talented individuals may be able to create a speech on the spot that will melt the heart of a loved one and make your grandmother, sitting in the first row, sob quietly on a handkerchief. The rest, unfortunately, have to work on it because even when you love someone more than life itself, finding the right words can take a long time.
That's why we offer our help!
Personal wedding vows - how to prepare them
Good marriage vows consists of 3 elements:
- What do you appreciate about your partner? – you can write about mundane things or choose something more sublime. You can say that you value the tenderness that your partner has for you and others, that you can always count on them. If you appreciate the fact that your significant other never leaves dirty dishes in the sink, you can add that to the list too. Those are your vows, go wild!
- What do you want to promise them? - just like in the first part, here you can approach the matter seriously or with a pinch of humour ("I promise to endure your snoring" has appeared in this type of vows more than once! :)). It's important that everything you promise comes straight from the heart. Remember that until the end of your days you will be trying to keep these promises.
- Something uniquely yours. A joke or a shared experience, or maybe some detail that no one else would remember. Maybe no one else will understand it, it's okay. It's your day and you should feel free to do what feels right, you are taking the vows first and foremost for yourselves! The smile on the other person's face, triggered by a personal story or detail that they may have forgotten, will surely be invaluable.
The final shape of your vows depends on you. Get inspired by your everyday life, common experiences and what is important to both of you. These are your personal wedding vows, so no one will do them better than you.
What if you can't think of anything?
It also so happens that love makes you speechless. Then it's impossible to write anything because at first it's hard to start and then nothing is good enough. What if the other person writes something more touching? They might think that I do not love them at all...
You can discredit such thoughts straight away - what you write, if it is sincere and yours, will surely go straight to the heart of your loved one. The most important thing for the other person will be the very fact that you made an effort to tell them something straight from the heart.
We all lack the right words sometimes so drawing from our experience, we will be happy to help you express your thoughts and feelings. We will not write personal vows for you because that's not the point. You can count on our help in putting into words what is already in your heart. Of course, we can keep a secret, so your partner doesn't have to know!
Main photo: Viabirdie Kamila Gołębiewska
